I know 5 推論する／理由s your husband doesn't want sex with you anymore, says TRACEY COX - and having an 事件／事情／状勢 isn't one of them

By TRACEY COX FOR MAILONLINE

Published: | Updated:

Sex therapists say 概略で one third of couples who 捜し出す therapy over 異なるing sex 運動s 伴う／関わる the woman wanting more sex than the man.

The 仮定／引き受けること that all men are 絶えず wanting sex with their partner 簡単に isn't true ? and it's one 推論する／理由 why women feel so ashamed to 収容する／認める it when their husband 拒絶するs sex with them.

'I'd tell my friends if he was having an 事件／事情／状勢. But I'm certainly not going to tell them my husband hasn't touched me sexually for years,' one woman told me.

Many women assume the worst when sex stops: their partner doesn't love them or is having sex with someone else.

But extra 結婚の／夫婦の sex is rarely the 推論する／理由 when a man loses 性の 願望（する） for his partner.

It's far more likely to be that…

The assumption that all men are constantly wanting sex with their partner simply isn't true ? and it's one reason why women feel so ashamed to admit it when their husband rejects sex with them. Stock image used

The 仮定／引き受けること that all men are 絶えず wanting sex with their partner 簡単に isn't true ? and it's one 推論する／理由 why women feel so ashamed to 収容する／認める it when their husband 拒絶するs sex with them. 在庫／株 image used

HE'S HAVING ERECTION DIFFICULTIES

If a woman 自白するs to me that her male partner is suddenly 避けるing sex and won't talk about it, my first question is 'How old is he?'.

If he's over 40, I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う erection difficulties have something to do with it. If he's over 50, I 保証（人） that's the 事例／患者.

Men 推定する／予想する to lose their hair and develop a beer belly. But no-one 会談 about what happens to his penis when it ages. Wonderous and impressive as they are, an erection is 簡単に a penis that's 十分な of 血. If he's having erection problems, 問題／発行するs with 血 flow are often to 非難する. Unfortunately for men, there's rather a lot of things that can 影響する／感情 it. 糖尿病, heart 病気, high 血 圧力, 存在 overweight, low testosterone levels (ageing), unhealthy lifestyle (drinking, smoking, eating junk), 強調する／ストレス and 苦悩. Most men aren't aware of this.

The first time he doesn't get an erection on cue is a sobering experience, even if he's not sober. If it happens more than once, it often 率s as one of the worst moments of his life.

Humiliated. Depressed. Emasculated. They're just a few of the words men use to 述べる the feeling of not 存在 able to 'get it up'.

Many men would rather not have sex at all, than を取り引きする a penis that 'doesn't work'. Sex to most men means putting their penis in something. It's 極端に difficult to 納得させる a man that oral sex, 手渡す-職業s, kissing, touching and using a sex toy also counts as sex. You can do a lot without an erection, but most men don't believe it ? and aren't 利益／興味d in 調査するing the 概念.

Erection problems aren't the same as low 願望（する） but if he experiences one, sooner or later he's likely to feel the other 同様に.

UK-based sex expert Tracey Cox? (pictured) shares the top five reasons your partner might not be having sex with you anymore

UK-based sex 専門家 Tracey Cox? (pictured) 株 the 最高の，を越す five 推論する／理由s your partner might not be having sex with you anymore

HE DOESN'T FEEL ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE

There's constant discussion on 女性（の） 団体／死体 image and how it 衝撃s their 願望（する） for sex. But men also grapple with feelings of attractiveness and the same thing happens to them.

WHY WOMEN THINK THEIR PARTNER'S STOPPED HAVING SEX

Most women come up with three main 推論する／理由s to explain why their partner has lost 利益／興味 in sex.

But how likely are they to be true?

1. HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR

'We used to have sex every day. Now, he 始めるs once a month if that. Of course there's someone else - what other 推論する／理由 would there be? He's not going to just suddenly go off sex.'

見込み of 存在 権利: 3/10

現実に, he can - for all the 推論する／理由s I talk about in this article. Cheating is the least likely 推論する／理由 for your partner turning to 直面する the 塀で囲む instead of you. Lots of men experience a higher 願望（する） for sex wi th their partner while having an 事件／事情／状勢.

2. HE DOESN'T FANCY ME ANYMORE

'I see him looking at women who are younger, prettier and thinner than me. I wouldn't 現実に mind that, if we were still having sex. Everyone looks at attractive people. But when he knocks 支援する every 前進する I make, how can I not take this 本人自身で?'

見込み of 存在 権利: 4/10

Women grow up believing all men 追求する attractive women and want to have sex with them. Therefore, they must be unattractive in some way if their partner isn't 追求するing them sexually. There may be some loss of attraction if you have 意味ありげに changed your 外見 ? like extreme 負わせる 伸び（る） or loss ? but it's nearly always something else at play.

3. HE'D PREFER TO WATCH PORN

'He waits until I 長，率いる upstairs to bed and says he's 権利 behind me. Then, at least three times a week, he goes into the downstairs loo, locks the door, and masturbates while watching porn on his phone. I know because I've followed him and listened outside the door. In the 合間, I'm lying in bed and trying to look sexy, with the hope that tonight might be the night he notices me. He rarely does.'

見込み of 存在 権利: 6/10

Online porn has 取って代わるd 'real' sex for an alarming number of men. It's 即時に accessible, 招待するs him to 見解（をとる） ever-招待するing images without 恐れる of 裁判／判断, and 申し込む／申し出s an endless 供給（する） of variety, 24 hours a day. It's hard to （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 that!

Lots of men see masturbating to porn as a way to have imaginary sex w ithout cheating in person on their partners. Others use it as fantasy fodder to spice up sex. I don't see a problem with either 推論する／理由 - and there usually isn't, if the man is still enjoying sex with his flesh-and-血 partner.

The problem with 単独の porn sex is that it's so 平易な, men get lazy. Seducing your partner takes 成果／努力: you can be done in under five minutes watching porn.

見込み of 存在 権利 if he has erection 問題／発行するs: 10/10

When erection 問題／発行するs creep in, the chances of a man 取って代わるing real sex with porn is 極端に high. If partner sex makes him 高度に anxious and porn sex is 無 圧力, which would you choose? Lots of men who を煩う 業績／成果 苦悩 would rather only have sex with themselves while watching porn than 苦しむ the humiliation of admitting it to their partner.

宣伝

Putting on 負わせる, losing muscle and (as already について言及するd) their hair. Even if people are still fond of 説 (please stop) that men with grey hair and wrinkles look 'distinguished' while women with both just look old, men aren't 免疫の to feeling depressed when their 外見 changes.

This is 特に true if his partner is much younger or seems to be faring better than he is. It's one thing 明らかにする／漏らすing a podgy belly while trying to seduce a wife who also has one. やめる another, if she's still 冒険的な a six-pack and (you 断言する) looks a little disgusted to see it.

HE HAS A NATURALLY LOW SEX DRIVE

This might come as a 完全にする surprise because, often, the first hint of a low libido appears around two years into a 関係. This is because almost everyone gets an 人工的な 上げる of 願望（する） at the start.

The second most ありふれた time for it to happen is when children arrive and sex 自然に 拒絶する／低下するs. Low 願望（する） people can 持続する a healthy sex 運動 if they are having sex 定期的に. But if sex stops and his 動機づけ to 捜し出す it out isn't strong, his libido will 減少（する） to its natural 残り／休憩（する）ing place which might be much lower than their partner 推定する／予想するd.

Is he 内密に gay? Is he having an 事件／事情／状勢? Am I too fat/too old/not sexy enough? Very few women think it's because their partner 簡単に has a 自然に low sex 運動. While we talk a lot about women losing 願望（する）, we rarely talk about men losing 利益／興味 long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語. Let alone not having had much enthusiasm for it in the first place.

The truth is men don't inherently have a higher sex 運動 than women: it's a stereotype. The reality is more nuanced. 願望（する） is a コンビナート／複合体 interplay of 生物学の, psychological, and social factors that 変化させる 広範囲にわたって between individual s, 関わりなく gender.

Our '残り／休憩（する）ing libido' is also at least partly genetically based. If your partner's Dad had a はびこる sex 運動, chances are he does. If that led to Dad having 事件／事情／状勢s, however, it can have the opposite 影響…

HE THINKS HE'S BEING KIND FOR NOT WANTING IT

Not all men grow up in a 世帯 where men are encouraged to 'be a man' and 捜し出す out sex whenever they can because it's 'what men do'.

If your partner's childhood was marred by a father who had 事件／事情／状勢s ? leaving the impression that wanting sex gets you in trouble or that our sex 運動 is uncontrollable ? he may 井戸／弁護士席 subconsciously decide not to let that happen to him. Wanting sex is dangerous, maybe even disgusting.

This can also happen to men if their mother has been 扱う／治療するd 不正に by men. The message she sends (deliberately or unconsciously) is that men's sex 運動s are harmful to women. Her son then 作品 hard to 鈍らせる his and feels shame if he doesn't 後継する. Normal things that nearly all adolescents enjoy, like masturbation and fantasising, become 消極的な experiences.

Having become the man he 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be ? one who isn't sexually 積極的な or predatory ? he thinks he's 存在 肉親，親類d by not wanting to have sex with you.

HE'S STRESSED OR DEPRESSED

One 熟考する／考慮する 設立する one in five men say their libido is low because they're too 強調する／ストレスd from work. Then they kill what little 願望（する） is left by doing what lots of people do when 強調する／ストレスd: self-medicate with alcohol. 過度の drinking 影響する／感情s the 生産／産物 of testosterone, the 最初の／主要な hormone 責任がある our sex 運動. Not surprisingly, the kick-on 影響 for all this is often 不景気. So, he pops off to the doctor, who 手渡すs out anti-depressants and maybe some 血 圧力 pills, 効果的に wiping out any cravings that might have still be hopefully hanging around. An ever-growing 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of 医薬s 鈍らせる the most enthusiastic libido.

Check out Tracey's two 製品 範囲s ? Supersex and 辛勝する／優位 ? if you want a quick, instant way to make mundane sex feel more exciting. You'll find them at lovehoney.co.uk (or the lovehoney website in your country).